Here's the thing -- I have had a lot of jobs. Since graduating college, I've worked as an English as a second language teacher overseas, at a start-up website, at a think-tank, at Macy's, at a Museum, at a magazine and now at a school. That's not even counting my years of babysitting and teaching dance. Maybe some people would say that that's jumping around too much. But, for me, it's really been about one thing -- finding where God wants me to be. I've said over and over that I never want to be someone who makes a decision -- or doesn't make one -- because of fear or complacency. I know there are no "perfect" jobs out there, but I believe that God asks us to be the absolute best person we can possibly be, using our careers -- whatever they are -- to glorify Him.
That's how I feel about teaching school. I sincerely feel that I am responding to God's call to do this. I have been increasingly nervous about the fact that I don't yet have a teaching degree. But I was blessed to speak to someone after mass this morning, someone whose child I will be teaching and whose opinion really means a LOT, who said "You have to not get hung up on the degree." (Thank you Mrs. Piaskowski for your ongoing prayers and encouragement!) We had a substitute priest at mass this morning, and I believe God put him here today because I absolutely needed to hear his homily. The gist of it was that God will use whatever meager gifts we have to glorify Him and work through us if we will just listen to Him. And I thought, the students I will be teaching are God's students. These are His kids, not mine. It's God who will be teaching them, and I just have to be the vessel through which He can do that. God has asked me to help Him teach His children, and although my gifts are small and humble, I have to believe that He will equip me with everything I need to do what He is asking.
Is this easy? No it is not. Frankly it is EXHAUSTING. So many times, this past week especially, I have said to God, "I don't think I can do this" or "I really don't know why You would ask this of me." Okay, okay. No, I am not being asked to birth the Savior of the world, but I still kept telling God that I really have no idea why He'd ask me to teach Language Arts to 6th, 7th and 8th graders with Him.
God's reply? This morning He also asked me to teach Religion to the 7th grade. I told Him I don't think I can do any of this, and He told me that not only can I, but I can do even more.
In my weakness and humanness I don't really have any reply other than tears because I'm still scared. But I remembered that I don't have to know what to say, because someone else already found the words:
Behold I am the handmaid of the Lord. Let it be done to me according to your word.
|She looks a little scared, doesn't she?|