Linking up with Jen and Company today!
1. Am I the only person that now thinks this is what Kim and Kanye's baby looks like after hearing her name:
I mean really. North West. REALLY.
2. I've come to realize something about myself lately: I tend to anticipate the worst. I feel like I'm generally optimistic, but in some situations I anticipate the absolute worst-case scenario. I've also found that those situations usually involve something I feel strongly about or some matter of the heart. (Don't they always?) And when I anticipate the worst, my heart tells me to avoid whatever situation I think is going to be the one that dashes all my dreams and breaks my heart. I've come to call this the "Golden Ticket" theory. Allow me to explain: in "Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory," Charlie Bucket wants a golden ticket really badly. He's a poor kid, of course, never had much luck, but really believes that he'll finally find a golden ticket. One night he goes to sleep after four of the five tickets have been found, still believing he will get the final one. However, his grandparents and parents see on the news that night that the final golden ticket has been found. The wonder if they should wake Charlie, but Grandpa Joe says no, they should let him have one more good night's sleep still hoping. (Unbeknownst to them, of course, Charlie is awake and hears.) The Golden Ticket Theory... the thing that causes me to avoid a situation where I think I'll see or find out something that will break my heart and I'll lose hope. I just want one more good night's sleep where I'm still hoping.
3. The Taliban want peace talks. Okay. As positive as that sounds, I have to admit that if I were Afghan president Karzai I am truly unsure whether or not I'd open my doors for that meeting. I think I'd be afraid I was marching to my death in a conference room.
4. So, as most know, I am the director of a local non-profit dance school and performing company. This isn't my "real job," nor does it pay. I work full-time for a magazine and I also work full-time running the studio. Needless to say, it is not always easy. Don't get me wrong, I love my students with a fierceness that I can't describe, but sometimes it can get exhausting when parents are yelling at you or everyone has an excuse why they have to miss rehearsal, etc. Just the general stress of running the place and paying the bills can be hard. About three weeks ago, my best friend Melissa, who is also the assistant director of the studio, and I were having a really tough time. We were concerned about the future of the studio and if we were doing the right thing for ourselves, our families, the students, etc. Mel and I had been praying so hard -- God please just tell us what the best thing is. I also told God that I'm stupid, I don't get subtleties or read signs, so if He could just hand write me a note and let me know what to do, that would be most appreciated. So Tuesday evening of our rehearsal week before our spring show, I arrived home from being at the studio for about five hours, and saw that someone had pushed something through my mail slot. It was a letter from the mother of my former best friend (we had grown up dancing together) and the mother was like my mother and we are still close. Her letter pretty much said that she knows how hard it is to run the studio, but that we are preparing our kids for life, not just dance. And (here's where it gets good) God sees what we're doing and approves of it.
I. got. a. letter. from. God. Now I'm spoiled and I think God is going to write me letters to answer all of the prayers I have.
5. Speaking of, I really need to discipline myself to understand that over-thinking things does not equal praying about them. I can so over-think something that I get in my own way, end up being super-awkward and then over-thinking my awkward behaviour and the cycle starts again. Let me tell you something, I will be 29 years old in less than a month, but in some situations (fine, matters of the heart) I am 28 going on 12.
6. Matters of the heart. The worst. Let's agree to agree. I'd rather fold all my laundry than struggle with a heart matter. Blah. The hardest part is that they are so hard to control. Feelings are hard to control because you don't choose them, they just happen. And then you're left there in the parking lot wondering what in the hell just happened? And you kind of want to ask God to please just take it away because YOU DO NOT WANT TO DEAL WITH THIS. Mostly because IT. IS. SCARY. (See take #2.)
7. Sometimes you really need to keep this in mind: